Friday, January 10, 2014

Corridor Joke: A rail babu puts together 9 fundas to be a successful officer

Ravi Pipal is the pen name of a senior Indian Railway Personnel Service (IRPS) officer. And he occasionally writes tongue-in-cheek pieces on corridors of power. If you are a government officer and wishes to ‘fix’ responsibility, what do you do? Or, will you be called “casual” if you sincerely dispose of all the pending files, that too speedily? Pipal says “good manager” is nothing but a myth. In this hilarious piece written for BoI, Pipal pens 9 fundas on how to be successful in corridors.
1. Subordinate is always at fault. Don’t say boss is always right.
2. Give up politeness. Being polite is a symbol of weakness. 
3. Keep one or two confidants who can give you the breaking news and do a commentary for you.
4. Do not hurry up in disposing of files. If you do so, more files will pile up, and you will have a bad reputation of being casual.
5. In case you are under pressure to 'fix' responsibility, catch hold of the last man in the row (lowest in rung). 
6. Announce inquiry only after deciding what line of inquiry should be adopted, and what would be the final findings.
7.
Are you finding out of place in a discussion? Try diverting the topic from Sahara to Antarctica or Vice-Versa. 
8. Keep your juniors guessing and fighting among themselves. Verma, Sharma, Pillai and Prasad need to be kissed and kicked as per occasion. Always keep in mind the tale of a wise monkey and stupid cats fighting for a piece of bread.
9. What if all these fundas fail? Just try this SOS: Discuss about nation, national character and moral values. That will give you strength to dominate the situation.

4 comments:

  1. Superb. Really enjoyed reading the piece.

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  2. good that pipal has tried to let others know that there is a service called IRPS where people slog like all other civil services. There was an officer who came to this service by a change over who as HOD used to know his job well. he used to give a file put up to him to any other IRPS sub officer sitting b efore him and ask him to read and give his remarks and if the officer says that he does not deal with it, he used to say i know that but i want you to deal with it. give me a separate note then!!!!!!! WE had a HOD (who left the service for private sector)who used to dispose off files (after reading thoroughly and excellent orders) in a jiffy. there had been occasions when we used to ask the PA if he has sent the file inside and the peon used to bring them back with the orders!!!!! a very successful officer in a private firm as MD!!!!!!!!!!!

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  3. Agree wholeheartedly.,. Beaurocracy has its own rules..

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